Humor & awkward moments by Zero Dean, based on weird thoughts & real-life experiences.

Why I need a time machine

I'm in a cafe. Sitting at a table with my laptop. An East Indian man in a suit walks up...

"Excuse me, sir — is the Internet down?"

What I wanted to say:

"Oh, no, my dear fellow. I don't know what they've told you, but the Internet is UP and DOWN and all around you. The Internet is — everrrrrrrywherrrrrre!"

What I actually said:

"I'm not sure. I read the sign on the door, so I didn't even try. I'm using my phone."

I know — that's not half as exciting and I wish I'd said what I was thinking!

THIS is why I NEED a time machine! Well, this and DINOSAURS!

Oh, and that time I spilled coffee on my laptop.

Missing imageIf memory serves, it showed: the sign on the door. The photo wandered off years ago and never came back. My best guess at what it said: "To our valued customers: WIFI is down."

PS. They have a separate notice for their unvalued customers...

It simply says: No WIFI for you!


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